The complex and inescapable relationship between social media and self-worth is almost impossible to ignore — or escape, for many chronically online folks.
While many argue that social media is as “real” as ever, there’s no escaping the truth that the algorithm serves us a tailored and often disingenuous depiction of life from our favorite creators and peers. Editing apps like Facetune, budget-less influencer closets, and vlogs capturing only a few minutes of a creator’s day are just a few of the ways we’re being “fooled” by a seemingly real reality.
It’s exactly the realization a young woman was forced to come to terms with thanks to her mother’s penchant for filtering and editing photos she shares on Facebook.
The woman revealed her ‘Facetune mom’ edits all the photos she posts on social media — including her daughter’s face and body.
“My mom edits the crap out of all of her pictures,” creator Sabrina Coleman admitted, “but she also edits the crap out of me.”
Despite realizing her mother was clearly “Facetuning” all of the pictures she posted on social media, she never felt the need to say anything, admitting it never “bothered her” because she knew “how her mom was.” However, after years of building up a tolerance to seeing “edits” of her own appearance, she decided to make a TikTok about it.
Sharing some of the photos her mom edited, along with the originals for comparison, Coleman admitted her “unrecognizable” appearance is nothing new. “Luckily, I don’t take it personally,” she said. “But I know it can be so harmful.”
Almost 90% of young girls have used an editing app at some point in their lives — but most don’t go to the extreme, like this woman’s mom, who is happily painting an unrealistic and unrecognizable picture of herself and her daughter on Facebook.
Coleman admitted that when she was at ‘her heaviest,’ her mom edited her body to be unrecognizable — ‘Slimming me down doesn’t make me better.’
While it seems this young woman wouldn’t allow anyone else to make these kinds of edits to her face and body, it’s become normal for her mother to do it.
Pointing out the differences between the original and edited photos, she highlighted that her mom slimmed down her face and body. “My arm has never been that skinny,” she said of one edited photo.
Despite not directly mentioning it in her videos, these kinds of “norms” can be detrimental to confidence and self-worth — in ways that many comments point to. “This breaks my heart,” one person wrote. “I hope you can learn to grow and heal from this.”
As Coleman’s mother slims and smooths her face, edits her arms to be smaller, and boldens her lashes, she sends a subliminal (or maybe even an outright) message to her daughter: You look better when you look different.
She’s very clearly illuminating her own insecurities and passing them onto her daughter by trying to “fix” them for social validation — and it’s not something to skimp over.
“Why go through all this work and extra gesture of insecurity for nothing?” the daughter wrote in the comments. “I don’t think the edits make me look any better … a bad picture is a bad picture. Looking skinnier isn’t going to change that.”
Drastic Facetune edits, especially like these, can be incredibly harmful, potentially damaging confidence, personal relationships, and self-worth.
Psychology studies cement what many commenters pointed to under the post — that exposure to edited photos and unrealistic images drastically harms self-confidence, body dissatisfaction, and self-esteem.
Editing software and Photoshop apps also contribute to other image struggles like body dysmorphia and even eating disorders, as unrealistic and impossible-to-achieve standards of beauty are placed on a pedestal.
So, while this daughter might not take offense to her mother editing her photos, it’s essential to remember the mental, emotional, and physical consequences it can have on a person. As Coleman wrote in a comment, it’s better to steer clear from editing altogether and get comfortable accepting the “unedited version” of yourself.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.
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